29
2007
4:40 am
SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER…
Sent to me by Greg.
I have to scrub the top of every can I open.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day
I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put ‘Under God’ on their cans .
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face….disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with an infected needle.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. - Sheena Says: Now this is true, I will blog about the experience my mother and I had at Walmart 3 years ago at a later time!
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bit es my butt.
I can’t ever pickup a $5 bill someone dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can’t buy gas from certain gas companies!
If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician…
Have a wonderful day….
27
2007
7:56 pm
It’s Almost Time!
Simba and Caesar are at the animal hospital for boarding. They both got their shots. Simba was such a laid back little kitty, he only mildly hissed at the vet when she wanted to check his teeth. Caesar on the other hand acted a mild fool. He barked as Simba got his shot. I’m like why are you barking, you’re not the one getting the shot right now. He tried to bite the vet and it was embarrassing because it went like this…
Vet: Does he bite?
Me: No. *smiles*
Caesar: *chomp*
Great job making me look good Caesar! Geez. I had to put him in a headlock while he got his shots. Last year all it took was a treat to give him shots. The treats the vet brought in weren’t good enough for him this time, he growled at her when she tried to hand them to him. When it was time to be taken to the back for boarding, he did NOT want to go. He kept backing up into me and then…he FARTED!!! Well at least he’s graduated from peeing and pooping on the floor. 
Greg’s on his way, he should be here by 9pm. The limo will pick us up at 3am and take us all to the airport. We’ll probably stay up, well maybe he won’t he’s been going all day since 5am. I just have to pack, basically take all the vacation stuff out my bag and transfer it into another luggage, shave and do my toes. Until next time!
27
2007
7:54 pm
Window Treatment Hunt
Greg and I are still debating if we want curtains or Blinds. I think that wooden blinds would be better because they typically go with everything if we decide to change things up a bit. We for sure don’t want to go with plain white ones, that’s what we already have except they are more so off white and dingy. We have 9 more months until our lease is up and we don’t want to spend too much knowing we’re going to move again. Once we buy a house, we’ll go all out. I swear once we purchase a home I’m going to cry and then run through it like a chicken with it’s head cut off! I’d like to have Plantation Blinds in my dream home. They remind me of being on a vacation. When I vacationed in Jamaica, my family and I stayed in a villa decked in plantation blinds and they were so pretty. I’d like my home to look like a villa. At home you should always feel like you’re in paradise, right? Well at least I think so, lol.
I’m getting ideas!
27
2007
1:45 am
Giveaway Winners!
Caesar’s Closet Giveaway - the winner is… Laura @ Laura Williams’ Musings
Grand Opening + Diaper & Wipe Pouch Giveaway - the winner is… Qtpies7
Sorry I’m 2 days late announcing the winners. I did close the comments 2 days ago. I will be able to get to the post office today to mail off the doggie clothes (so Laura contact me asap!) and the diaper and wipes pouch will come directly from the creator so I won’t have to ship it.
Stay tuned for another giveaway December 1st! Thanks to all the participants!!
25
2007
9:53 am
Some Random Thoughts
I guess we are living in a time where not many people design their own websites and blogs (I’m referring more to graphics) anymore hence why I have to mention that I design and maintain all of my websites on my own. I get asked many times if I “do my site on my own”, yes I do. If you need something done, let me know and we’ll discuss. I’d love to get a portfolio together because the projects that I’ve done at work, I’m not allowed to show to any of my customers on the side. You know, it’s to protect the business and I completely understand that.
Yesterday I managed to find 1 pair of shorts for Greg. I’ll look some more tomorrow. I picked up my Carol’s Daughter too. I got Mimosa Hair Honey and Healthy Hair Butter. I’ll be writing a review when I start using them. Ugh a side note, the stores were so crowded, I think I’m going to do my holiday shopping online! The smell of Macy’s and those other related stores burn my nose so bad. All those scents, yuck! I love my fragrances but when all thrown together, ew. My mother and aunt are going to the hairdresser today, I may tag along to see if I can get my ends trimmed and maybe my eyebrows done if they do them. I get my hair trimmed once a year, I need to get it trimmed more often but can’t trust anyone in the south. *thinks to self* Wow, I’ve been natural for 2 years already! I love it! I must be going now. I’m trying to space my thoughts out into separate blog posts to keep them from being so long, so I’ll be back with more random thoughts later, toodles.
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